New on TikTok: Why THREE Altars & THREE Priests Rock More Than ONE or Squished Masses! (And a Lil’ Warning on Helpers) 🚫👎 One altar? Cute for small playdates, but if 100 friends show up? Traffic jam – everyone waits, boo! 😩 Three altars = triple slides at the park – slide, slide, slide! More prayers zoom to heaven faster, like sending three rockets instead of one slow bike. 🛸 Symbol magic: Three = God’s team (holy three-in-one), balanced like a triangle (strongest shape – won’t tip!). Three priests each doing their own Mass? Epic win! Each table gets a full show – no sharing lines like “You go first.” It’s pure, speedy grace (God’s happy juice) for busy days. Conjoined Masses (one big group blob with deacons mixing in)? Meh – feels jumbled, like too many cooks in cookies (burnt edges!). Deacons are cool helpers (like assistant coaches 🏈), but Eucharistic ministers? Uh-oh – they’re not magic-makers! Only priests can turn bread to Jesus-zap (real deal, per old rules). If they hand it out like candy without the full spell? Poof – invalid, like fake money at the store. ❌ Stick to priest pros for the true energy boost. Why? Keeps it holy-clean, no shortcuts – full power every time! 💪 There – altars unlocked! They’re harmony helpers: Proportioned just right (tall for awe, small for cozy), observed like nature’s secrets (watch light dance on stone), implemented with steady steps for max wow. Draw your own church dream tonight – what color altar would you build? Share with a friend! 🎨🫂 (P.S. Today’s Gaudete Sunday – rejoice with pink vibes! 🌹) Practice Time: How to “Play” on the Altar (Safely – Priests Only!) – Elevation, Energy, Chanting Magic 🔮🎵 Altars aren’t toys (priests are the grown-up players!), but we feel the fun by watching and joining in. It’s like a quiet concert where energy (happy tingles!) rises like balloons. Here’s how to imagine doing it, step by step – draw it on paper with curvy lines for flow and straight ones for strength: 1. Get Ready (Approach): Walk slow to the table (or side ones). Kneel like a frog jump – say “Hi God!” with a song from old poems (Psalm words like “Climb to joy!”). Energy starts low, like sleepy morning coffee. ☕😴 2. Build Energy (Prayers): Priest reads stories (Bible bits) – your turn: Whisper thanks. Chant soft “La-la mercy” tunes (Kyrie – like echoing friends calling). Feel warm fuzzies bubble up! 🫧📖 3. Elevation Peak (The Big Lift!): Hold up the bread/wine high (elevation – like cheering a goal! ⚽). Music swells (organ whooshes like wind). Focus: Eyes on the shiny bits – that’s where God zaps love-energy straight to your tummy. No distractions; it’s laser-focus time! 🎯 4. Chanting Focus (Music Magic): Sing wavy notes that twist like vines (Gregorian chants – old-school hums). It makes the air vibrate with happy waves, pulling everyone closer like a group hug. Why chant? Turns wiggly energy into calm stars shooting up. ⭐ 5. Cool Down (Share): Eat the special bread (tastes like yummy cracker – poof, Jesus hug inside!). End with “Go in peace!” Walk out glowing. 🌟 Do this at church (watch from pews – no touching!). Home version: Make a tiny table with drawings, hum songs, lift toy bread. Builds big feelings without the grown-up rules. 😇 #AltargasmTour #TridentineGlow #LAGirlFaith #EucharistSlay #DevilProofVibes